Like, What If, Man

A long time ago,

There was a dude

Who got to be king
But not THE king.

Just a run of the mill kind of king:

A Best Western king,

As opposed to a

Marriott Resort king.

Of course it’s all perspective.
He might have been a Motel 8 king,

There are no kings or queens at Motel 8.
Well, other than a few hyper dudes in costumes.
So it could have been worse.

But that’s par.
It usually can be worse.
And it could always be better.

Maybe that’s why some

Folks spend a lot of time

Wishing they were someplace else,
Or at the very least,

a different season.

“Man, I’m ill with winter.”

Or

“Will this summer ever end?”

Most folks, though,

Are pretty good

With autumn and spring.
You got colors in the fall

And April showers

Do their thing for May.

 I’ve never heard,

“Wish spring would just pack up and go.”

Anyway,

A long time ago, 

The dude

We’re discussing today
Pissed off a couple of
Powerful guys.

More powerful than any level of king.

Those guys were actually gods and
Had plenty of clout

With how things are

And even more important,

How things are going to be.

The Best Western king,

Sisyphus … don’t ask …
Have no idea how or why

This dude was named Sisyphus
But he was. Deal with it.

Anyway, Sisyphus
Had a bunch of bad habits.
He lied, cheated, and fucked around, too.
More of a thug with clean fingernails

Than a king, if you ask me.

So Sisyphus —

(Sounds like a social disease, doesn’t it)

And to a degree

The name was karma’s way

Of saying,

“Watch out.

Shit’s going to happen.”

Karma tosses hints

The way folks in a Mardi Gras parade

Throw trinkets to the crowd.

Some people get a prize;

Some don’t.
That’s the way it is.
Everybody has karma,

But not everyone realizes it.

Kind of like voting.

It’s certain, though,

That those who need to hear

What karma whispers

Don’t bother to listen.
And, bam.

Maxwell’s silver hammer.

Sisyphus

Did all sorts

Of shit, and regardless

On which news service you read,

The gist is that the gods were pissed,
And that Sisyphus was going to get whacked.

About the same time

The Sisyphus shit went down,

A brief romance bloomed

In Supreme Deity Land.

Grudge God had a fling,

With Garbo God, a real stunner,

And figured she’d be up for

A true and infinite 

Happily Ever After.

But Garbo God

Tangoed to the beat

Of a different drum.

Sure, she liked to have a good time

Now and then,

But she also loved her privacy.

So she told Grudge God

That — you probably saw this coming —

She wanted to be alone.

And that sent Grudge God into fits of angst

That shoved him into a bad mood.
A real BAD mood, actually.

As it happened
Sisyphus had fucked up at a terrible time,

Right before the annual deity retreat.

Very bad timing.

Meanwhile Grudge God

found a bottle

Of Icon Only Valium

And swallowed a handful of pills

Just before going to the meeting.

He arrived, dazed, and drifting toward confused.

In fact, a checkered flag of a lopsided grin 

Erupted as he trudged to the podium.

“Boys, let’s not kill the mofo.
Let’s give him an eternal punishment.”

The other gods murmured

Among themselves

And after a lengthy discussion asked,
But what is the eternal punishment?

Grudge God stood up

And gazed through the enormous picture window

At the mountain peak

Where Garbo God

Had a residence.

In fact,

Because he had such great vision,

He could see the smoke

Spiraling from Garbo God’s chimney.
Or bong, as the case might have been.

Grudge God

Stared at the mountain,

Then made his decision.

“We’re gonna have

That boy roll a rock up a hill
And when he’s just about to get it to the top,

It’s going to go back down to the bottom

And he’s gonna have to roll it up again.
And again. And again. And again.”

This might have been

Grudge God’s

Best idea

Ever.

His associates agreed.

This was a plan that was going

To put a huge dent

In the social life,

Not to mention psyche

Of that off-brand monarch,

Sisyphus.

So it came to be.

Eternity is a long time, though.

Every towel and story

Has a wrinkle.

One of Garbo God’s

Pals, Doc Omen,

a practitioner

In the healing arts,

And a voracious reader

Had a peculiar power.
He could summon wisdom

From the future,

As well as the distant past.

All he had to do was imagine.

One day on his trek up

The mountain to see Garbo God

Doc Omen happened to be mulling

About various habits

That he might like to change.
So in the mystical search engine

Of his thoughts, he imagined

Someone figuring some of that stuff out.

Suddenly, a copy of THE USE OF SELF
appeared, and Doc Omen

Couldn’t have been more pleased.
He was so engrossed in the material

That he didn’t notice the dude

Rolling a rock up the other side of the mountain.
(That’s some serious focus).

On his way home later that night, though,

Doc Omen cracked open a fifth of Irish whiskey

And managed to leave his sack of books somewhere on the trail.

The next morning, just for the heck of it,
Sisyphus chose a new route,

And came upon the sack.
Sisyphus, by then, had become pretty adept

At rolling his rock, and he was able

To use one hand for the job,

And one hand to hold a book to read.

Sisyphus finished THE USE OF SELF

In a single day, too fast for Grudge God

Or his hack squad to interfere.
And a great change happened.

Sisyphus realized many things,
One of which was that he’d been an asshole

And deserved his fate.
Just as important was that he had the option

Of how he would respond to his situation.

“I can mope about this and feel bad,

Or, I can accept the challenge of the task

As something new each time.

 I can do a good job.”

So Sisyphus began a new phase.

As it happened,

Garbo God caught wind

Of the dude rolling rocks

And she strolled down her side of the mountain

To take a peek.

“Hmmmmm,” she thought.

(This was Nordic

For “I don’t have to be alone every night.”)

Garbo God had some serious weight

With the other gods, and after a few

Soirees in her Alpine Mansion,

She was able to get Sisyphus a little time off

Every week or so.

While Sisyphus had found a clearer path,

Some habits, such as enjoying the charms of a goddess,

Were still in play.

So eventually, a part-time

Happily Ever After

Took shape.

Maybe.