A Perspective

What follows is a post i shared on a UNC basketball message  board, where my "handle" is thehig. This post concerns the loss to UVA on Feb. 15,  as well as the entire season.

Another gut-wrenching heartbreaker.

The anguish on the faces of the UNC players hit me quite hard after the UVA game last night.

The pain after the dook loss was almost too much to witness because, for me, beating dook is a reason to exist. The dook games, whatever the sport, are always personal, always passionate, always exhilarating to win, always, and I mean ALWAYS, devastating to lose, particularly on a game’s final play. 

The dook loss last Saturday drained me to the point of exhaustion, and I’m merely a long-time UNC supporter, fan, former student, then teacher, and can claim Chapel Hill not only as the school where I went to college and grad school, but where I moved when I was 4 and began the journey that continues.

Where am I going with this?

I want you to know that I’m no casual fan. That since before many of your parents were born, I was watching UNC play men’s basketball. In other words, a long damn time. So take the following suggestions with a modicum of patience. Time equates experience, and your love of UNC basketball is every bit as unique and as poignant as mine. Simply allow this point of view to wash over you like the scent of fresh basil joining peeled garlic as it browns in simmering oil in a large frying pan.

As you can see my IC handle is thehig (one of my favorite cats long ago). But I want you to know my actual name: Mark Phialas. I want you to know who is suggesting what follows. 

I speak for myself (and perhaps others) that I screamed many, many times last night and all season after poor decisions or poorly executed plays. I screamed at young kids as if they were personal tools, and those tools had caused me pain.

In truth, I know nothing about pain compared to this UNC team.

I’ve seen people on private message boards obsessed with fixing the current UNC problems. I’ve seen some of them cloak this season with a bias that stretches back to the final seasons of Coach Smith. I’ve witnessed self-absorbed arrogance that stems from ego … that UNC’s success is not only an entitlement, that it is about them. That they are somehow defined by UNC’s success or failure.

That, of course, is their right to do. But it is also my right to say that UNC’s success or failure defines UNC. And unless you attend every practice, quit bashing the coaching staff for decisions and choices that you ASSUME you know better. You might, but I doubt it.

Here’s the gist: Today, instead of whining about the season, pouting about another tough loss, saying things in public that only make you small, THINK ABOUT THE PLAYERS ON THIS UNC TEAM AS IF THEY ARE IN YOUR FAMILY. Think about how much they work. And acknowledge how tough things are for them.

Those players are family if you are what I would call a true Tar Heel fan.

Love them as much as you can.

They are hurting far more than you can fathom.