Let's Make Monopoly Great Again

Some folks
Ride in style
From the first smile
To the last,
Sucking on a silver spoon
Till they get
The upgrade.

Some folks
Tire of living.
 “The things you wanted,
I bought them for you.”

Wild horses,
Gonna ride ‘em
Someday.
Or maybe not.

Hard to get up
For Christmas
When you already
Own the mall.

So what do ya do
When you’re so rich
That you own it all?

Bored games, anyone?

You might own
Michigan, for instance,
And have some strong ideas
On why some kids
Should never learn a damn thing.

Yo, it’s your turn, Betty.

The dice are loaded
As she darts ;round the corner.
Landing on CHANCE.
Ha!
As in shocker.
Banking error in your favor
Collect 2 million.

Takes a call from the president.
The she helped finance,
The one she scorned
Just a few years ago
When he tried to put his hand
Up her skirt.

Nah, that never happened.
Wait. Did it?
Bygones be bygones.
Besides judges do it.
Actors do it.
Even educated fleas do it.

So, what is freedom?
A credit card with no limit?
So much credit you don’t even use a card?
They just send you the bill.
Sometimes you pay.
Most times late.
But that’s okay.
She’s one of the chosen.
She has more money
Than she can spend.

So what does she do?

Bored games.

You might run
An oil company
And travel around the world
A nature rapist
Looking for a virgin.
You make gobs and gobs
Of money, and you have
Bank accounts that have bank accounts.
Sacks of gold stored in vaults
In many places.

Tired of living.
It’s easy to do.

Around the board
You go.
Park Place for free.
Though its now
Park Tower.
And Boardwalk?

No more.

It’s Empire Boardwalk.
And the rent just went up.

What does 3 grand a month get you in NYC?
A studio in Brooklyn.

Ya gotta have real money now.
Round and round and round
The board they go.
Paying dues
in brand new shoes.

Isn’t it time
To change things up?
Instead of jail,
Call it Woodstock
And when you land there
You have to spend time
In the woods with naked liberals.

Oh, the humanity.

Also, there’s no
Free lunch anymore.
Even Baltic and Mediterranean
Are gonna wear out your wallet.

Uber takes you on the journey.
Cell phones are free.
So are the herpes.
As for the Russian Tea Room,
Only the elite have keys.
They take you into a room
With vats of vodka,
Computers and launch codes.

Just who owns this country?

Who cares?

It’s fake news.

Americans would never sell out their country.

Assholes, however, will.