Let's Make Monopoly Great Again

Some folks

Ride in style

From the first smile

To the last,

Sucking on a silver spoon

Till they get

The upgrade.

Some folks

Tire of living.

 “The things you wanted,

I bought them for you.”

Wild horses,

Gonna ride ‘em

Someday.

Or maybe not.

Hard to get up

For Christmas

When you already

Own the mall.

So what do ya do

When you’re so rich

That you own it all?

Bored games, anyone?

You might own
Michigan, for instance,

And have some strong ideas

On why some kids

Should never learn a damn thing.

Yo, it’s your turn, Betty.

The dice are loaded

As she darts 'round the corner.

Landing on CHANCE.

Ha!

As in shocker.
Banking error in your favor

Collect 2 million.

Takes a call from the president.

The one she helped finance,

The one she scorned

Just a few years ago

When he tried to put his hand

Up her skirt.

Nah, that never happened.
Wait. Did it?
Bygones be bygones.
Besides, judges do it.

Producers do it.
Actors do it.

Even educated fleas do it.

So, what is freedom?

A credit card with no limit?

Nah.

Freedom is so much clout

She doesn't use plastic or cash.

They just send her the bill.
Sometimes she pays.
Most times late.
But that’s okay.
She’s one of the chosen.
She has more money

Than she can spend.

And she does not

Have a clue about you.

So what does she do?

Bored games.

You might run

An oil company

And travel around the world:

A nature rapist

Looking for virgins.

You make gobs and gobs

Of money, and your

Bank accounts have bank accounts.
Sacks of gold stored in vaults

In many, many places.

Tired of living.

It’s easy to do.

Around the board

You go.

Park Place for free.

Though its now

Park Tower.

And Boardwalk?

No more.

It’s Empire Boardwalk.
And the rent just went up.

What does 3 grand a month get you in NYC?
A studio in Brooklyn.

Ya gotta have real money now.
Round and round and round

The board they go.

Isn’t it time

To change things up?

Instead of jail,

Call it Woodstock

And when you land there

You have to spend time

In the woods with naked liberals.
Oh, the humanity.

Also, there’s no

Free lunch anymore.

Even Baltic and Mediterranean

Are gonna wear out your wallet.

Uber takes you on the journey.

Cell phones are free.
So are the herpes.

Free parking

Is now the Russian Tea Room,

Only the elite have keys.

They take you into the bunker

With vats of vodka,

Computers and launch codes.

Just who owns this country?

Who cares?
It’s fake news.
Americans would never sell out their country.

Assholes, however, will.